I was not under the influence. A little sleepy, lying in bed before falling asleep. But perhaps listening to the third book of The Expanse, a science fiction novel set in space, had stimulated my half-dream/half-vision.
I saw my life playing out within the vast universe–held within its expanse of stars and nebulae, distant quasars and galaxies, and the ever-changing complexity of life on this planet over billions of years. One life in an uncountable multitude, yet still leaving its mark forever among the atoms, among the chemical molecules, among the other life forms, among people and our shared human culture. That no matter how small, the life and existence of a thing leaves a trace, its influence radiating out forever. It’s like the way we see stars still shining that have long since gone supernova to lend their atoms to the creation of new stars and planets, perhaps to new life still yet to come. Or like a trilobite long dead in an ancient sea lends its footprint to the fossil record and to the tree of life, one of many trilobites all making en masse their distinct contribution to the genetic codes that go on spinning out new life forms in a great and dynamic continuity. Dead or extinct, we remain forever present as building blocks, as echos, our lives perpetually acquiring new meaning as the context changes in its never-ending and shifting complexity.
This is eternal life! I thought. It doesn’t matter whether or not my soul is eternal, whether or not there is life after death, or we are simply extinguished, only living on in peoples’ memories while our atoms get recycled back into the biosphere… Because actually, my life is eternal in the universe!
It had the quality of a revealed truth. It made me want to create something beautiful to give back to the universe, my song for eternity.
Space Euphoria
The particular section in The Expanse that had surely tickled my mind was a passage during which a civilian goes on a spacewalk for the first time and is hit by space euphoria.
It turns out that the sense of awe, wonder, and the instinctive understanding of the interconnection of every atom and star and life form on Earth is common for astronauts. They call it space euphoria or the overveiw effect.
It’s fun to read the descriptions, and makes me think I’ve had it backwards about space all this time. I’ve thought of the vacuum of space as a horrible, cold, hard, terrifying place to be. But maybe it’s also a place of unity, wonder, and splendor? Here are a few descriptions:
- “50 Years Ago The First American Walked In Space, And Didn’t Want To Stop,” June 13, 2015 in Gizmodo.
- “The Human Brain in Space: Euphoria and the “Overview Effect” Experienced by Astronauts,” May 22, 2008 in Universe Today.
- “Overview effect,” in Wikipedia.
One of my favorites is a passage quoted in the Gizmodo article from Astronaut Chris Hadfield describing his first space walk:
“I check behind me, to be sure I haven’t accidentally activated my backup tank of oxygen, and that’s when I notice the universe. The scale is graphically shocking… Intellectually, I’d known I was venturing out into space, yet still the sight of it shocked me, profoundly… you look up from your task and the universe rudely slaps you in the face.” (Hadfield, C. in Giaimo, C.)
Astronaut Edgar Mitchell was so changed by his Apollo 14 moon mission that he founded the Institute of Noetic Sciences, and dedicated his life to further human understanding of our unity with all things and our consciousness potential.
Mitchell describes seeing the earth and the 360 degree panorama of stars as their capsule tumbled back to Earth, which triggered an experience of samadhi. He describes it like this: “It means that you see things with your senses, the way they are. But you experience them viscerally in eternity as a unity and a oneness accompanied by ecstasy.”
*Oops, it appears I misheard what he was saying. What he acutally said: “But you experience them viscerally and internally as a unity and a oneness accompanied by ecstasy.” I like my misheard version better.
It makes me wonder what will happen when we truly take to space–if all our fearful projections about taking our violence with us to the stars will collapse under the experience of the universe’s grandeur outside of an atmosphere, gravity, and magnetic field. I can hope.
References
Giaimo, C. (2015, June 13). 50 Years Ago The First American Walked In Space, And Didn’t Want To Stop. Gizmodo. https://io9.gizmodo.com/50-years-ago-the-first-american-walked-in-space-and-di-1708781846
Hadfield, C. (2013). An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth. Little, Brown, and Co.
Institute of Noetic Sciences. (2021, January 30). About Our Origins: A Shift in Perspective. IONS online. https://noetic.org/about/origins/
Institute of Noetic Sciences. (2016, February 6). “We Are One” – Edgar MItchell 1930-2016. [Video]. Vimeo. https://vimeo.com/154398850
O’Neill, I. (2008, May 22). The Human Brain in Space: Euphoria and the “Overview Effect” Experienced by Astronauts. Universe Today: Space and Astronomy News. https://www.universetoday.com/14455/the-human-brain-in-space-euphoria-and-the-overview-effect-experienced-by-astronauts/
Overview effect. (2021, January 23). In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Overview_effect&oldid=1002199276
this post pokes my mental state. also reminds me how transporting it can be to read good science fiction. thnx